between values

Good values can pull us in different directions

Not every hard choice is right against wrong. Most of them are honesty against loyalty, or fairness against mercy — and naming that is the whole skill.

Start with one choice Read the twelve values

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Twelve values. Seventeen places they collide.

Each one is worth holding. Each one, pushed too far, costs something. Both halves are written down.

  • Honesty

    Saying what you believe is true, and not leaving out what someone needs to know to decide well.

    Pulls against Loyalty

  • Compassion

    Attending to someone's suffering and letting what you notice change what you do.

    Pulls against Honesty

  • Fairness

    Applying the same standard to people in the same situation, including when you would rather not.

    Pulls against Compassion

  • Loyalty

    Standing with the people and groups who have stood with you, especially when it costs you something.

    Pulls against Honesty

  • Freedom

    Being able to steer your own life, and leaving others room to steer theirs.

    Pulls against Security

  • Security

    Protecting the stability that lets people plan, rest, and take the risks worth taking.

    Pulls against Freedom

  • Responsibility

    Owning what follows from your choices, including the parts nobody would catch you leaving undone.

    Pulls against Freedom

  • Respect

    Treating someone as a person with their own standing, boundaries, and reasons, whether or not you agree with them.

    Pulls against Honesty

  • Belonging

    Being held by a group that knows you, and holding others in return.

    Pulls against Freedom

  • Achievement

    Doing something well enough that it holds up, and building the competence to do it again.

    Pulls against Humility

  • Humility

    Holding an accurate picture of what you know, what you owe, and how much of your success was circumstance.

    Pulls against Achievement

  • Care for Nature

    Treating the living world as something owed care, not only as material for our use.

    Pulls against Achievement

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Start here

Dana worked beside you for two years. She was warm, reliable, and often struggled with the technical parts of the job — you covered for her more than once.

Work through it 3 minutes · Ages 14+

  • You could Agree, and speak warmly about her strengths
  • Or Agree, but be candid about the gaps
  • Or Decline gently

None of these is the right answer. That is the point.